Who started Forgive Mom and Dad Day?

Thomas and Ruth Roy of Wellcat Holidays in Pennsylvania created and copyrighted it, one of dozens of unofficial days they hold rights to. The exact year is not documented.

Does the day mean I have to forgive my parents or make up with them?

No. Forgiveness is a personal choice, and psychologists are clear it does not require reconciling or resuming contact. For some relationships, keeping distance is the healthier decision.

Is forgiveness the same as forgetting or excusing what happened?

No. Researchers define forgiveness as releasing your own resentment for your own peace, separate from condoning the harm, forgetting it, or restoring the relationship.

Is Forgive Mom and Dad Day the same as National Parents' Day?

No. National Parents' Day falls on the fourth Sunday in July and honors parents, while Forgive Mom and Dad Day is a March 18 day about releasing resentment toward them.

Forgive Mom and Dad Day

Next celebratedThursday, March 18, 2027

A reflective observance on March 18 inviting adult children to consider releasing old resentments toward their parents, on their own terms.

See how to celebrate

Countdown to the day

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Last updated March 18, 2026 · by the Holiday Calendar TeamHave an update or spot an error?

YEARLY DATEMarch 18

OBSERVED INUnited States

CATEGORYRelationships

SUBCATEGORYFamily

ORIGIN

Individual Initiative

FOUNDING ENTITY

Thomas and Ruth Roy (Wellcat Holidays)

FIRST OBSERVED

Not documented

“Thomas and Ruth Roy of Wellcat Holidays created and copyrighted the day as one of their dozens of unofficial observances.

HOW THE HOLIDAY CAME TO BE

A copyrighted prompt to see your parents as people.

Thomas and Ruth Roy of Wellcat Holidays in Lebanon, Pennsylvania created and copyrighted Forgive Mom and Dad Day, one of dozens of unofficial observances the couple holds rights to and publishes each year. The year it was first listed is not documented.

INTRO

The quiet math behind a quirky March observance

About one in four American adults has cut off contact with a relative. In a 2020 Cornell survey, 27 percent of people reported estrangement from someone in their family, a rupture the researcher behind it called a problem hiding in plain sight. Forgive Mom and Dad Day lands on a far larger and more tender subject than its lighthearted name suggests.

The day asks a simple, optional question: is there a resentment toward a parent you are ready to set down. It does not ask anyone to call, to reconcile, or to pretend a real harm did not happen. Forgiveness, as psychologists define it, is a private decision a person makes for their own peace, not a favor owed to anyone else.

That distinction is the whole point. The observance works best read as an invitation rather than an instruction, and for some readers the honest answer on March 18 is no, or not yet, or never. All of those are valid.

ORIGINS

Forgive Mom and Dad Day history

INTRODUCTION

For most of human history, forgiveness was the territory of clergy and philosophers, not scientists. That changed in the mid-1980s, when psychologist Robert Enright began studying it as a measurable mental process rather than a religious virtue. Time would later call him the field's trailblazer.

Enright's question was practical: if forgiveness can be learned, what are the steps. The answer turned a private struggle into a researchable skill, and it drew other psychologists into the work.

CHAPTER 01

A new science of letting go

Enright founded the International Forgiveness Institute in 1994 and mapped forgiveness as a process a person moves through over time. Researchers were careful from the start about what they were not claiming. Forgiveness, in this work, never meant forgetting, excusing, or being required to restore a relationship.

Stanford's Fred Luskin built on the same foundation, teaching forgiveness as a trainable skill rooted in what he called the simple and radical notion that how we react to a hurt is up to us. The emphasis was always on the person doing the forgiving, not the person being forgiven.

CHAPTER 02

What the research did and did not promise

By the 2010s the evidence had grown substantial enough that clinicians began treating forgiveness as an established therapeutic tool rather than an experiment. The careful researchers, though, kept drawing a hard line around what they were measuring.

Researchers studying family rupture have been equally firm about the limits. The American Psychological Association notes that cutting off a parent can be necessary to protect a person's safety and well-being, and that no one should be shamed into reconciling with a family that is not safe.

CHAPTER 03

Where the day comes in

Forgive Mom and Dad Day sits at the lighter end of all this. It was created and copyrighted by Thomas and Ruth Roy, a Pennsylvania couple whose Wellcat Holidays catalog holds rights to dozens of unofficial days. Their entry frames it as a nudge to stop seeing parents as flawless figures on a wedding cake and start seeing them as ordinary people.

No record dates the day's first appearance, and the Roys never tied it to the research above. But the science gives a quirky March observance unexpected weight: forgiveness is real, it can be learned, and it is always the forgiver's choice to make.

WHY THIS DAY MATTERS

Why Forgive Mom and Dad Day Matters

HEALTH

Forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not for them.

Mayo Clinic links letting go of grudges to lower blood pressure, fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety, and better heart health. The payoff accrues to the person who forgives, not to the person being forgiven.

EVIDENCE

Forgiveness can actually be taught

A 2014 review of 53 studies found that people given structured forgiveness training became significantly more forgiving than those who were not. They also improved more on measures of depression, anxiety, and hope.

CHOICE

It never requires reconciliation

Psychologists are clear that forgiveness is voluntary and separate from reconciling, and that distance can be the healthy choice. A person can release a resentment without ever resuming contact with the parent who caused it.

BY THE NUMBERS

Forgive Mom and Dad Day by the Numbers

10%: US adults estranged from a parent or child
26%: Fathers estranged from an adult child
81%: Estranged children who reconcile with mothers
69%: Estranged children who reconcile with fathers

GET INVOLVED

How to Observe Forgive Mom and Dad Day

Learn what forgiveness actually means

Read how researchers define it before deciding anything. The Greater Good Science Center explains that forgiveness is releasing resentment for your own sake, not condoning harm or agreeing to reconcile.

WRITE

Write the letter you never send

Putting a resentment into words on paper can clarify what you actually feel and want. Many people find it useful precisely because no one else ever has to read it.

HONOR

Honor your own limits

If a relationship was harmful, treat distance as a valid and sometimes necessary choice rather than a failure. The American Psychological Association notes that estrangement can protect a person's safety and mental health.

TALK

Talk it through with someone neutral

A trusted friend or a licensed therapist can help you sort old feelings without pressure to reach any particular outcome. The goal is clarity for you, not a result anyone else expects.

EXTEND

Extend the question to yourself

Self-forgiveness is part of the same research, and parents are often the hardest critics in our own heads. Consider releasing a grudge you have been holding against your younger self.

Test your knowledge

How well do you know Forgive Mom and Dad?

1 / 6

Who created and copyrighted Forgive Mom and Dad Day?

Answer

No. It is an unofficial observance created by a private couple, not a federal or state holiday, so it is a normal working day.

COLOPHON

Sources

How we know what’s on this page. References, not endorsements.

9sources

3primary records

3independently dated

Primary records

Wellcat Holidays

Wellcat Holidays (holiday list)

The creators' own catalog listing Forgive Mom and Dad Day on March 18, with the Roy copyright.

View source

Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology2014

Efficacy of psychotherapeutic interventions to promote forgiveness: A meta-analysis

A 2014 pooling of 53 studies showing forgiveness training works and lifts mood.

View source

International Forgiveness Institute

About the International Forgiveness Institute

How Robert Enright began forgiveness research in 1985 and founded the institute in 1994.

View source

Additional coverage

Cornell University2020

Pillemer: Family estrangement a problem hiding in plain sight

A 2020 national survey finding 27 percent of US adults are estranged from a relative.

View source

American Psychological Association2024

Healing the pain of estrangement

Reconciliation rates and why cutting off a harmful family member can protect well-being.

View source

Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley

Forgiveness Defined

What forgiveness is and is not, including that it never obligates reconciliation.

View source

American Psychological Association

Forgiveness

An overview describing forgiveness as voluntary and distinct from reconciliation or excusing.

View source

Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley

The Choice to Forgive

Fred Luskin on forgiveness as a trainable choice that does not mean forgetting or approving.

View source

Mayo Clinic

Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness

The health correlates of forgiveness, from blood pressure to mood and heart health.

View source

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